Bisexual Awareness Week 2024: Oeil’s story

Bisexual Awareness Week runs from September 16–23, and culminates on Bi Visibility Day on September 23.

This week aims to raise awareness of and celebrate bisexuality across society, as well as reduce judgement and highlight the issues faced by the bisexual community.

Bisexual people can often face difficulties, some of which include their sexuality being accepted by family, friends, and society. It can take a huge amount of strength to be open to family and friends about our sexual identity and when it is met with judgement and non-acceptance it is not an easy thing to deal with.

Oeil (she/they) 

When I say I’m bisexual, I mean I’m attracted to more than one gender. I like that the term has evolved to become less binary, and so have I.  

I didn’t come out – even to myself – until pretty late in life. I thought the coming out bit was the fairy tale ending to my queer journey. But in reality, it was just the beginning. Since then, it’s been a long road of self-exploration and acceptance – something I’m still working on today.  

I’ve experienced biphobia from even before I knew I was bi. In Thailand where I grew up, the bi identity was non-existent – you were either gay or straight. This coupled with heteronormativity meant I just ignored my attraction to girls and assumed I was straight. It delayed my self-discovery by decades, and badly affected my mental health, self-image and self-confidence. I couldn’t love myself, while also hiding from a huge part of myself. 

Since I’ve come out, the biggest worry I’ve had is that I’m not ‘gay enough’ to belong to the LGBTQIA+ community. That gay women wouldn’t want to date me because I’m bi. This is the biphobia I’ve internalised and know still exists within our community. It’s hard for me to overcome it because I know rejection from the LGBTQIA+ community would hurt a lot more than any homophobia I receive. This community has come to mean so much to me – it’s given me a safe, empowering, inspiring space and a loving family I never really had. 

But really, I love being bi. It’s taught me to be comfortable in uncertainty, in the grey area. To refuse to be boxed in. It’s also empowered me to question other things about myself, like my gender identity. It’s a freeing feeling to know I’m not tied to one answer forever.